Remembering your loss does not stop you from moving forward, in fact it is the opposite; the act of lighting a candle helps you own your story, it reminds you that you’re not alone and it declares that there is still hope.
Today, an interview I did for the Sunday Times Magazine appears as part of a larger feature on male infertility, written by Sarfraz Manzoor. When I sent in my answers a few weeks ago, it didn’t occur to me that it was going to be published on Father’s Day (I should have known!) but I suppose it’s good the voice…
Until my first miscarriage I’d had never considered or questioned whether the Christian faith had anything to say to the infertile or the childless, but six miscarriages later, still no children and a husband about to be ordained as a vicar I was seriously doubting whether my faith had nothing to offer the childless.
Over the last few months, Lizzie and I have been waiting and hoping on something new and special. We entered a podcast competition run by the BBC. It was called the Rachael Bland podcast award and they were looking for people who had something to say on a topic that they felt needed talking about. We felt we had something…
Since a few people have asked, after I performed some spoken word poems at Fertility Fest, here’s a recording of the poem Zero, which I did as part of The Invisible Man event at the Barbican. You can listen to the whole of the Nihal programme on BBC Radio 5 Live, which includes a lengthy chat with Elis and Sheila,…
Looking back, I don’t really have many regrets. I was never particularly wild as a teenager. I wasn’t overly cautious either so I tended to participate in the things I wanted to do. Perhaps there are some boys in my past that I wished I had kissed. Or some occasions where I missed a chance to put myself forward for…
There is something in the air. Spring is coming and all those winter nights of special cuddles and keeping each other warm has resulted in a deluge of pregnancy announcements. For anyone enduring fertility issues, this could be called Gut Punch Season. Or, The Soul Crushing Bonanza. Or, Time To Leave Social Media Season. You get the idea. It is…
I am an enneagram type 4. This won’t mean a lot to many people but if you know, you know. I have big feelings. So, when a year draws to close and a new one begins, I fall into a reflective mood. Perhaps I should backtrack a little. In the last few months I have said goodbye to the part…
I’m currently in one of those seasons when I feel like I’m not at my best. I recognise it because when I’m chatting to people I want to sit them down and tell them ‘this isn’t me’. Normally I’ve got more energy or enthusiasm or ideas and I’m fun to hang out with, but right now I feel like I’m…
I just saw a friend’s Facebook post announcing their new baby to the world. It of course included a shoutout to his wife who’d been incredible. She of course would have been, labour is hard. But so is miscarriage and those women, my wife included, never get the recognition for their bravery in the face of suffering with no happy…