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Owning the landscape

By On 7 July 2018

When I was diagnosed as infertile, there was a delayed reaction before I fell headfirst into a breakdown that disabled me for about 5 months. The emotional impact of childlessness and infertility has enormous potential for mental illness, and for me, this was the most acutely painful part of our story. I’d never experienced anxiety or depression before, and stress…

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What happened when I stopped asking

By On 11 March 2018

Spoiler alert!! So today on national television I will tell St Pam Rhodes that I cannot pray for a child for myself. My Songs of Praise interview actually happened a few weeks ago and as soon as those words fell from my lips I felt both pride and shame in equal measure as I sought to explain the complexity of…

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The Rhythm of Hope: a reflection

By On 7 January 2018

I’ve just got back from The Rhythm of Hope, a retreat/conference day for couples going through their own journey of childlessness and infertility, where Sheila, Lizzie, Dave and I were honoured and humbled to serve, and share a bit of our stories. I know several of the couples there today have read posts on Saltwater and Honey, and it was…

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Christmas Survival Guide for the Childless

By On 21 December 2017

The lights on the Christmas tree are twinkling in the corner of the room, the smell of the biggest roast dinner you will eat this year is floating under your nose and filling the house. You’re holding your first glass of wine for the day and moving towards one of those tiny tables designed specifically for remote controls and small…

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Encountering Secondary Infertility

By On 12 December 2017

I’m writing this from my single room in a retreat house in the heart of Essex. I’ve just had dinner with a nun, a Rector and a saintly old lady from Suffolk. I am a fish out of water. Going on retreat has been a longing of mine for a while. I’m here for 24 hours after blackmailing Elis into…

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A Letter to the Churches

By On 4 November 2017

I, Lizzie, a disciple of Jesus, called by God to preach good news to the spiritual misfit, the one who wrestles with God and the one who can’t stop the tears from falling. Grace and peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. I thank God for each one of you, for your faithfulness as you…

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Inadequate

By On 3 November 2017

Here’s my contribution to National Fertility Awareness Week. It’s probably going to be inadequate, and my blogging muscles are a bit rusty, but then I’m no stranger to feeling inadequate, as are most, I imagine, men whose infertility is the cause of their childlessness. I have azoospermia (complete absence of sperm). Always have had, it turns out. I learned of…

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Can friendship survive infertility?

By On 31 October 2017

He that is thy friend indeed, He will help thee in thy need: If thou sorrow, he will weep; If thou wake, he cannot sleep: Thus of every grief in heart He with thee doth bear a part. These are certain signs to know Faithful friend from flattering foe. William Shakespeare – The Passionate Pilgrim One of the focuses of…

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You Are Here

By On 17 October 2017

I think this all started with a colouring book. But this isn’t just any old colouring book. It’s Jenny Lawson’s colouring book, a brave, hilarious and irreverent American writer and artist – seriously, if you’re sensitive to sweary language don’t read her stuff and don’t judge me for reading it either. Jenny has dedicated her book to her chronic anxiety…

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A Liturgy of Loss

By On 11 October 2017

This is a short liturgy designed for the parents who have lost a child through miscarriage. These words can be spoken together as a couple, on your own or with those close to you. It can be helpful to have someone lead you through this service, who can pray for you and support you as you acknowledge your loss, but…