Saltwater and Honey has grown out of a group of people coming together in the midst of childlessness and learning to grieve and stay hopeful alongside one another. We have discovered the importance of allowing the presence of both tears and laughter in our lives, and how to share these moments with each other. Inspired by the Jewish Passover tradition of using food and flavours to express the different emotions of life, we have often dipped our fingers into bowls of saltwater and honey in an act of remembering both the tears and joys we have experienced. We have learnt to acknowledge our sadness and not be afraid of it, as well as enjoying sweet times of joy and hope like jewels shining out of the rough. Together, we have carried one another through the sadness and have tried to never lose sight of the hope we have in Christ Jesus, in this life and the next.
We have found that having a place to share our stories has been an incredible privilege and has enabled us to grieve and find new hope. This has removed us from the isolation you can feel when experiencing the loss of a child or struggles with infertility. We hope that Saltwater and Honey can be that place for you.
We have so many plans of what ‘saltwater and honey’ could offer, we just haven’t got around to getting it all sorted. So please watch this space for more blog posts, stories, resources and recipes!
I am very glad to see a site like this. I have been looking for it for a while. It is not an easy topic, because you have to look beyond the conventional biblical teachings and focus on the verses themselves that speak of loss and grief. I have asked the hard question of God. Why? I have grieved hard and long. God did plan children for me. He told me so when I finally learned how to ask my question correctly. I was made to have children, made to love them, and made to care for them. Not being successful at pregnancy or giving birth has left me asking why I failed. I have done a lot of soul searching, discovering, forgiving, and some repenting and asking forgiveness. Sometimes that is all it takes. For younger couples who still have the opportunity and are still waiting, don’t hesitate to search and forgive. For those who do not have that ability, if your can process your grief and God leads to towards children through another direction, don’t hesitate. However, you must grieve the loss of your own first or you may sabotage yourselves and any children who do come into your life emotionally.
Grieve your loss first. The ask God what he would like from you next. You must also prepare for the variety of reactions to your state. Even in the congregation you love. Some will try to fix it with lots of suggestions, others will wonder why, some will not trust you, and others will offer you lots of opportunities for “child time” through baby sitting and such, a few will make the mistake of laughing up their sleeves (you will gain experience with being a stumbling block for these individuals). Remember that they are all really trying to find a way to relate to you. They sympathetic ones will become friends, God willing. The hardest part is goin home after all the activities. Remember, the valley is where God shines brightest and Jesus makes good his promises.
Hi Jeanette, thanks so much for your comment and encouragement. It’s so great to hear other people’s stories and thank you for sharing your journey with us. Yes, I agree taking time to grieve is so important and it can often be very difficult to remain childless within a Christian community. We hope that through encouraging further conversations and honesty around the experience of childlessness, infertility and miscarriage that we can help our churches become a safe home for those who struggle. With much love xx